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Hindi SMS Jokes

Sanskrit teacher

Sanskrit teacher asked: whats d meaning of ‘tamasoma jyotirgmaya’
studnt replies-“tum so jao ma main jyoti k ghar ja raha hu”

Yaar ye bata

Man 1: Yaar ye bata is duniya me kitne desh hai
Man 2: Are pagal is duniya me ek hi to desh hai
Jiska naam india hai
baki to sab videsh hai.

Rasgulle hai?

Man: Rasgulle hai?
DUKANDAAR: Nahi
Man: Dekh lunga
DUKANDAAR (Gusse me): Kya dekh loge?
Man: Dusri dukaan me jakar dekh loonga!

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Station jane ke kitne loge?

Man: Station jane ke kitne loge?
Ricksha wala: 50
Man: 20 le lo.
Ricksha wala: 20 mein kon le ke jayega.
Man: Tum peche betho hum le ke jayega..

Meri wife mujhe naukar

Man 1: Meri wife mujhe naukar samajhne lagi hai
batao main kya karun?

Man 2: Karna kya hai,
2-4 ghar aur pakad aur apna dhandha jama le.

Only a Man understands another

Only a Man understands another Man..

Customer: I want to buy a Ladies Watch

Shopkeeper: Sir, wife ke liye chahiye ya Branded dikhaun.

Seene me dil

Seene me dil,
dil me drd,
drd me yakin,
yakin me khayal,
khayal me khawab,
khawab me tasvir,
tasvir me sirf aap!!

itna darawna khawab?
bap re bap.

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Shaadi se pehle bhagwaan

A man writing in his diary:
Shaadi se pehle bhagwaan se duaa maangi thi ki achha PAKANE wali biwi dena.
Saala, ‘khana’ mention karna hi bhool gaya!

There is no word

Hitler says,
“There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary”
Man says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? “Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na”

Ek Machar perasaan baitha tha

Ek Machar perasaan baitha tha.
2sre ne pucha kiya hua?
1st-yaar gajab ho rha hai.
Chuhedani me chuha,
Sabundani me sabun,
Mgar macchardani me admi so rha hai.

Student to God

Student to God: Hazaaro ki Kismat tere haath thi
Agar pass kar deta to kya baat thi
God: Girlfriend thodi kam banata to kya baat thi
Kitaabe to saari tere paas thi !!..

Tumne mujhe rulaya tha

Tumne mujhe rulaya tha!!!
Maine tumhe bhulaya tha!!!
Dil me tumhe basaya tha!!
Gale se tumhe lagaya tha!!!
Lat mar ke bhagaya tha!!!

Pappa: Beti 12th ke baad kya karogi?

Pappa: Beti 12th ke baad kya karogi?
Beti: B.B.A.!!
Pappa: Are wah meri beti BBA karegi,
Lekin BBA hota kya hai?
Beti: Boy friend ki baho me Aaram…

mausam shabab ka

mausam shabab ka,
nasha shrab ka,
parda janab ka,
or rung gulab ka,
in sabse haseen
in sabse lajwab dekho sms padne wala,
.
.
.
.
Mendak talab ka.

Yaar aaj mein bus ke

Man1 : Yaar aaj mein bus ke peeche peecha daudkar 15 rupees bacha liye.
Man2 : Kya yaar, tum to bahut murkh ho, agar taxi ke peeche bhagte to 150 rupees bachta!

Agar koi apse kahe ap

Agar koi apse kahe ap
pagal gadhe
olu dhakn kahe
to ap nirash mat
hona or santi se bhathke
sochna sale ko pata kase chala…..

Yaar meri biwi ghar chodkar

Man1 : Yaar meri biwi ghar chodkar bhag gaye.
Man2 : Tune usse pyaar se nahi rakha hoga.
Man1: Nahi yaar appni behan se bhi badkar rakha tha.

I WANT AT LEAST

I WANT AT LEAST ONLY ONE NIGHT YOU BESTDE ME IN THE RESTAUR AND
AFTER ENJOY CANDLE NIGHT DINNER I WANT TO SAY THOSE BEAUTIFUL 3 WORDS
WHTCH I LOVED MOST TO SAY YOU…..

3 Dost Diwali

3 Dost Diwali Ke Baad Mile

1st :Mere Daddy 10,000 Ke Patake
Laaye,
Humne 3 Ghante Tak Bajaye,
.
2nd: Mere Daddy 15,000 Ke
Pataake
Laaye Thhe,
Humne 4 Ghante Tak Bajaye,
.
.
3rd: Daddy
Ghar Par Nahin Thhe…
.
Toh Mera
Bhai 5000 Ka Sirf Ek
Pataaka Laaya Aur Saari Raat
Humne
Baari-Baari Bajayaa..
.
jo samjha wo lyk karein
bakki log pogo par chota bhem
dekho…

A – apple

A – apple
B – BALL
C – cat
D – dog
E – elephant
F – fish
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Ab niche kya dekh rahe ho age ata nahi to jake dub maro.

Jo Ladke Facebook Pe

Jo Ladke Facebook Pe,
Girl Friend Banane Me,
Asafal Ho Jate Hai
.
.
Wo
.
.
.
Facebook Pe Ladkiyo Ki Profile
Bana Kr Boy Friend Banate Hai…

Tumhari biwi ka kya naam hai

Man1 : Tumhari biwi ka kya naam hai?
Man2 : Google Kaur.
Man1 : Ye kaisa naam hai?
Man2 : Yaar mein jaha bhi hota hoon, wo mujhe dhoondh hi leti hai!

Bachcho zinda rahne ke

Science Teacher: Bachcho zinda rahne ke liye kya zaruri hai?
Student: itna bhi nahi pata mam?

Zinda rehne ke liye teri qasam..
ek mulaqat zaruri hai sanam.

preeto Girlfriend ko ghar le gaya

‘preeto Girlfriend ko ghar le gaya
Sab darwaze
Khirkiyan
Band kardi
Light off kar ke
Uske pass aaya Aur bola: ?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Ye
Dekho meri watch me light jalti hai’

Medical science proved ki

Medical science proved ki
Kapre tight pehnney se Blood Circulation ruk jati hai.
But
Larkiyon ke kapre jitne tight ho,
Larko ke blood circulation utni tez hoti hai!!

Free Advice for Boys

Free Advice for Boys
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.
.
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Ladki ki Pic par kabhi mat comment
karnaa ….
warna 3 Mahine tak notification
aayenge..!!

Gaali kya hai?

Teacher: Gaali kya hai?
Student: Krodh ke smay mukh se nikle ashudh shabdon ka samuh
Jinke uchcharan ke paschat Vyakti ke hriday Ko ShantiKa anubhv hota hai.

Tum Mere Liye

Girl; Tum Mere Liye Kya Kar Sakte Ho

Boy; Bolo Kya Karna Hai

Girl; Chand Todkr La Sakte Ho

Boy; Fir Eid Kya Tere Baap K takle Ko Dekhkar Manaenge…
Market me naya he fatafat send karo sabko”

Yaar dhokha ho gaya

Student in a Hostel(dost se): Yaar dhokha ho gaya.
Dost: Kyon kya hua?
Student: Maine papa se books ke liye paise mangawaye,
papa ne books hi bhej di.

Ek baat batani hai

Man1: Ek baat batani hai, par please mujhe maroge to nahi.
Man2: Haan bolo.
Man1: Mein Pregnant hu.
Man2: It’s a gud News. Ess baat par kyu tumhe maru.
Man1: Shadi se pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.