Hindi Funny SMS

He: I am in love with you totally.
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She: Totla hoga tu! Tela baap totla!

Aapki yaad mein humne nai kalam uthai,
Liya paper aur tasveer aapki banai,
Socha tha ki usko sambhaal kar rakhenge,
Magar wo to baccchon ko darane ke kaam aayee.

Ek american ne ek indian bache se poocha ..

Tum kitney saal ke ho?

Bachey ne jawab diya: ghar par 14,
school me 12, BUS me 10, Train me 7 aur..
FACEBOOK par 19 year ka hu ji.

Jis umar me hamare dant tutate the!

Aaj kal ke bachchco ke..

us umer me dil tute jate hain..!!

“OTFBHFEONGFOA”


uper Diye Huye Words Main Se


O, B, F


Delete Kar Den.


Aur Hasil Karen, ek Khoobsorat Gift.
Just for you..
By- Kissmiss

Dua h aapki 1 acchi GIRLFREND ho
aapko MISS kare, mujhe KISS kare
aapko PUPPY de mujhe JHAPY de
aapse IQRAR kare,mujse PYAR kare aapke sath ROYE,mere sath soye.

Samunder me pani, pani me fish.

wah! wah!

Samunder me pani, pani me fish.

wah! wah!

Aap ko salam aur aap ki Girlfriend ko kiss…

Ab bol wah wah 😛

Likhe jo KHAT tuje wo tere YAD me,

Sare padh liye papa ne RAT me,

Sawera jab hua to JUTE pad gaye,

Wo”FANAA” wale baal “GHAJNI” ban gaye..

Aaj Titanic ki 125th anniversary hai
So sab pyar karne walo se request hai ke
Titanic ki yaad ko taza karte hue
Apne Mobile ko 2 minutes tak pani mein rakh dein.

Ek Machar perasaan baitha tha.
2sre ne pucha kiya hua?
1st-yaar gajab ho rha hai.
Chuhedani me chuha,
Sabundani me sabun,
Mgar macchardani me admi so rha hai.

Ye Sms jis Khoobsurat Insan ko milta hai.
Wo 5 second baad Behosh ho jaata hai..

(^_^)
00:01

(“_”)
00:02

(+_+)
00:03

(‘_”)
00:04

(*_*)
00:05

Nahi huye?
Khoobsurat hote to behosh ho jate..
Mujhe to bohat mushkil se hosh aaya tha, uff..!!

Garma Garam..
; ; ; ; ;
c(“.”) c(“.”)
“”” “””
Special TEA
Ek aap ke liye Aur..

Dusri bhi aap ke liye Kyun ki..
Dono mein makkhi gir gai hai.

Kaise mumkin tha
kisi aur doctor se ilaaaj..?
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Ishq ka Rog tha_
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Mummy ki chappal se hi araam aaya..!!

<(",)
( (> Ueee
< L

Haye! Bhut mara yaaro

I WANT AT LEAST ONLY ONE NIGHT YOU BESTDE ME IN THE RESTAUR AND
AFTER ENJOY CANDLE NIGHT DINNER I WANT TO SAY THOSE BEAUTIFUL 3 WORDS
WHTCH I LOVED MOST TO SAY YOU…..

9.00 : *beep beep*..
Msg received… salary credited to ur a/c
Me:yipeeee..
9.01 : *beep beep*
Home EMI auto debited..
9.02 : *beep beep*
Car loan EMI auto debited..
9.03 : *beep beep*
Credit card bill auto debited..
9.04 : *beep beep*
Phone bill auto debited..
9.05 : *beep beep*
Electricity bill auto debited..
9.06 : *beep beep*
LIC EMI auto debited..
9.07 : *beep beep*
Medical insurance EMI debited..
9.08 : *beep beep*
Your a/c. Babaji ka thullu

Man1 : Tumhari biwi ka kya naam hai?
Man2 : Google Kaur.
Man1 : Ye kaisa naam hai?
Man2 : Yaar mein jaha bhi hota hoon, wo mujhe dhoondh hi leti hai!

Free Advice for Boys
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Ladki ki Pic par kabhi mat comment
karnaa ….
warna 3 Mahine tak notification
aayenge..!!

Girl; Tum Mere Liye Kya Kar Sakte Ho



Boy; Bolo Kya Karna Hai



Girl; Chand Todkr La Sakte Ho



Boy; Fir Eid Kya Tere Baap K takle Ko Dekhkar Manaenge…
Market me naya he fatafat send karo sabko”

I PROUD MYSELF.BECAUSE I AM GARHWALI.
G:GREAT
A:ACTIVE
R:RELIABLE
H:HONEST
W:WONDERFULL
A:ADVANCED
L:LOVELY
I:INTELIGENT
MERI JANAM BHOOMI MERU PAHAD.GANGA JAMUNA YAKHI BADRI KEDAR.

DUNIA mein achche insan
ki talash mein mat nikalna

kyo ki

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Aaj garmi bahut hai aur

(‘,’) hum ghar
mein hi
_/ /_ hai..

Jee karta hai aap ke pass aau,
Paas aake ruk jau,
Na kuch bolu Na batau bus Aap Ki AANKHO ME,
Ha inhi Aankho me.. SANTRE KA CHILKA NICHOD KK BHAG JAU.

Kal 2 logon ko bewakoof banaya

Puchho Kaise..?

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Bilkul aise
Ab 3 ho gaye. 😀

Sochiye physics kitni eassy hoti

aagr

aagr

aagr

aagr

Apple ki jagah ped gira hota
aur newton wahi nipat gaya hota.

Life Me kitne bhi
Dukh mile
Gam mile
apne aansu bah jane dena unhe
rokna mat
Kyuki

ruke hue pani me hi Malaria wale macchar ande dete hai! 😀

Ladkiya paraya dhan hai, to ladke kya?

Nahi pata kya?
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Ek No. ke CHOR,
jinki nazar hamesha paraye dhan par hi lagi hoti hai.

Log kehte hain..
Agar achhe logo ko yaad kiya jaye to
waqt aur raat bhi achha guzarta hai..
So..
Maine socha aap ko
Meri yaad dila du..

Garmi se bachney ke liye
Enter Password:

******

*****O

****LO

***ALO

**HALO

*AHALO

NAHALO

Code accepted
Welcome to
B A T H R O O M

&
,’,’,’,
, ‘,’ ,’,’,
,’ ,(‘.’)>,’OLa La
,< /"/, ,',
'_/ /_',
Hanso mat jaldi fwd kro market mein naya aaya hai.

Science Teacher: Bachcho zinda rahne ke liye kya zaruri hai?
Student: itna bhi nahi pata mam?

Zinda rehne ke liye teri qasam..
ek mulaqat zaruri hai sanam.

Khud ko karo kanjoos itna,
ki har sms bhejne se pahle,
service center wale call kr ke khud puchhe..

Sir ji
Ru sure?
bhejna hai,
ki sending fail kr du?

What is similarity between SUN & WIFE..?

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Very Simple..

Aap dono ki taraf ghoor kar nahi dekh sakte. 😀

Mirchi muh ke alawa aur kaha lagti hai?

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kheto mein lagti hai mere dost..

hamesha apni Gaand ke baare mein hi kyo sochte ho?

Socho agar bhagwan Ram rath ki jagah
NANO car mein baith kar RAWAN se ladte to rawan kya kahta.

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Chalao na NANO se baan re,
Jaan le lo na Ram re!! 😀

Har ek boy ki dil ki khwaaish hoti hai……??
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khud kitne bade kaminey honge

par larki shareef chahiye….. 😛 😀

khud par Sabse Jyada proud kab hota hai ?
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Jab usko Exam mein kuch na aata ho,
Aur pichhe se teacher aake kahe,
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Copy chhupa lo Pichhe wala dekh raha hai….
Kasam se seena chaura ho jata hai :’D

Teri khamoshi aur
udasi ki wajah hum samajh na sake ae dost,

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Wo to shaam ko teri mummy ne bataya
ke aaj teri chappal se pitai hui hai!! 😀

Height of Kaminapan:
A boy listening to extremely sad song and thinking..
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Kaunsi wali ko yaad karu yaar!!

Murgi anda deti hai,
aur gaai dudh deti hai,
to aisa kon hai jo dudh bhi deta hai,
aur
anda bhi deta hai?
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Dukandar
Dont clap plz.
I know am genious.

Apne suna hoga Maa-Baap ke karmo ka Fal Beto ko milta hai,
Lekin kabhi-kabhi Maa-Baap ke karmo ka Fal,
Unke DAMADON ko bhi Bhugatana padta hai!

Yasomti mom se talking nandlala,
Radha kyun fair.. I am kyun kala.
boli smiling maiya
listen mere lala:
Wo city ki gori
aur tu village ka gwala isliye kala.

Agar aap kahi ja rahe hai.
Aur
“kala kutta”
Aap ke aage se guzar jaye to samjh jana.
ki
kala kutta bhi kahi jaa raha hai!

Har barish mein yahi dua hai hamari ki
Barish ke jitne qatre zamin par gire,
Utni baar aap slip ho ke gire,

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Khushiyo ke samundar mein.

Teacher: Gaali kya hai?
Student: Krodh ke smay mukh se nikle ashudh shabdon ka samuh
Jinke uchcharan ke paschat Vyakti ke hriday Ko ShantiKa anubhv hota hai.

kamar jitni bhi patli ho maza utna nasheela hai.
chalega jo bhi ho aankhon ka rang kala ya neela hai,
ishq k naam pe kerte sabhi ab RASLEELA hao..

main karun to saala character dheelaa hai :p

Zindagi ki race mein agar sab se 1st aana chahte ho to..

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Uska ek hi secret hai

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Kisi ko batana mat plz

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Akele bhago. 😀

Hospital mein vacancy nikli hai
Salary 19000/-
Kaam: Bas SHAKAL dikha ke marizo ko behosh karna hai.
Jaldi FORM Bhar
Tera selection to pakka hai dost. 😀

Mandir mein joota utaarte waqt,
aur kisi ko miss call marte waqt,
bus ek hi dar rehta hai..?
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Koi utha na le.

Break-up ke baad aisa kyu lagta hai,
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Ke saala har sad song apne liye hi likha gaya hai.

Purani haveli ke
pichhe wale khandar ki
saamne wali futti
hui deewar par
lagi tutti tasveer ke
pichhe lage jaale
mein fase macher ki kasam..
I miss you yaar

Bataiye… sach baat itni chubhti kyu hai..??

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Kyunki Sach baat mai point hota hai.

Daru ho gayi sasti,
Ham karege masti,
chhak ke piyege,
Has ke jiyege,
Na aaye kisi ki yaad,
Theke wale Zindabad,
Send to all Sharabi,
Humko to sirf aapka pata tha!
Bruuaaaaa

Sirf 2 log muqaddar wale hote hai,
Ek wo jinko sachcha pyar milta hai,
Aur
Dusra wo jinka TARBOOZ meetha nikalta hai,
Enjoy the tarbooz season.

Teacher to Golu:
NAADE ko english me kya kehte hain..!!
Golu: P.H.D.
Teacher: kya matlab?
Golu: Pajama Holding Device..!!

Jeevan mein safal hone ke liye Formula:

Koi tumhe bewkoof ya gadha kahe toh chup raho.
muh khol kar usse sahi saabit mat karo..!!

Sometimes things look so romantic in hindi like:
Mein kho gaya hun tere pyar mein, ab tum b kho jao..

Now try in english :
Im lost in ur love, now u get lost. 😀

1 din ravan disco mein gaya
aur
waha jaa kar behosh ho gaya
kyun?
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Kyun ki
waha gate par likha tha
entry fees RS 1500/- per head.

Uss insan se zyada
badnaseeb kaun hoga
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Jiski Maggi mein
Masala ka pouch hi na nikle.

Ha ha ha bichara!!

Ek ladka ladki se ishara karke kehta hai,
jhalak dikh laja,
jhalak dikh laja,
Ladki chappal Nikal ke kehti hai
ek baar aaja aaja aaja aaja..

Usne baja diya mera music bina dhol ke,
dil todh diya usne i hate u bole ke,
ek roz ja rahi thi wo mujhe bye bole ke,
to maine bhi lauda dikha diya chain khol ke!

Advice for life
Life is too Short
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So Plz don’t waste ur time in removing pen-drive safely.

Aise hi khinch liya karo yaar..!! 😀

Summer’s ULTIMATE
Mummy dailouge
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KAMBAKHTO THANDA
PANI PITE HO TO
BOTTLE BHI BHAR KE RAKH DIYA KARO. 😀

Bas itna hi kaha tha maine ki..
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Tere pyar me barso se pyasa hu sanam”
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Usne pani ka pipe muu me daal kr motor chala di.

Zindagi ki race mein agar sab se 1st aana chahte ho to..

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Uska ek hi secret hai

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Kisi ko batana mat plz

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Akele bhago. 😀

If u ever start missing
Ur college days,
Ur class,
Ur friend circle,
Canteen
or
anything about college life..

Just open ur mark-sheets
Sara nasha utar jaega.. 😀

Ek ladki apne boyfriend se park mein roz milne jati Wo roz time par pohonchti,
lekin ladka hamesha late aata Lekin ladki kabhi usse naraz nahi hoti,
Ek din ladki park mei nahi pohonchi,
Ladka gusse se uske ghar gaya Waha pata chala ki ladki ko blood cancer hai aur wo sirf 6 din jiyegi,
Ladka rote huye ghar aya aur sucide karne buildng ke 100th floor par gaya,
Aur ladki ke liye 1 letter chodda Usme likha tha..
Tum mera hamesha wait karti thi aur me roz
late ata tha lekin aaj main jaldi pohonch raha hu aur tumara wait karunga..
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Theek ussi wakt Shaktimaan waha se ja raha tha
Kya Shaktimaan usse bacha payega..?
Janne k liye dekhte rahiye SHAKTIMAAN 😉

Ek din ek ladka apne dost se bola:
University se mera result check kar ke aa ke batao!

Magar yaad rahe, mere saath abba hongey!

Agar main ek subject me fail ho gaya to kehna ke:
ek momin ki taraf se salaam.

Agar 2 mein fail ho gaya to kehna ke:
2 musalmaan bhaiyon k taraf se salam!

Dost university se result dekh ke aaya or bola..
Tamaam Ummat-e-muslimeen O Muslimaat ki taraf se salaam!

A deadly PJ.

What do u call a group of farmers stuck at one place?
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KISSAN JAM!
Plz dont throw ur mobiles. 😀

Socho agar bhagwan Ram rath ki jagah
NANO car mein baith kar RAWAN se ladte to rawan kya kahta.

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Chalao na NANO se baan re,
Jaan le lo na Ram re!! 😀

Ek Ladka aur ek Ladki ki shaadi hui..

Aap yakeen nahi karoge ke doosrey din hi

Unka Bachaa hua

khana kharab ho gaya..

Fridge me nahi rakha tha na !

Beti: Mein padosi se pyar karti hu aur uske sath bhag rahi hu!
Baap: Thanks mere apise aur time dono bach gye.
Beti: Papa mein to letter padh rahi hu!
jo mummy rakh ke Gayi..!! 😀

Khuda end docter ko kabhi naraj nahi karna chahiye,
Kyonki khuda naraj aadmi docter ke paas,
Docter naraj to aadmi khuda ke paas! 😀

Teacher: What is love….???
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Student:
‘L’ ko hath me lekar
‘O’ ko dabate hue
‘V’ me dalte waqt jo
‘E’ ki aawaz nikalti hai
use hi LOVE kahte hai..!!

Three lights to save the earth from the darkness..

1st: sunlight
2nd: moonlight
3rd: you

my sweet friend tube light
ok cool cool cool darling..

Bataiye… sach baat itni chubhti kyu hai..??

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Kyunki Sach baat mai point hota hai.

Purani haveli ke
pichhe wale khandar ki
saamne wali futti
hui deewar par
lagi tutti tasveer ke
pichhe lage jaale
mein fase macher ki kasam..
I miss you yaar.

Ladkiyo ke 7 jhut?
1. I Love u.
2. Aapki kasam.
3. U r my 1st love.
4. Balance nahi hai.
5. Awaaz nahi aa rahi.
6. Parents sath mein hai.
7. Me tumhe hi yaad kar rahi thi.

Define Girls!!

The 1 who
b4 goin out for a party,
facial,
bleach,
waxing,
hair cuting/straighting,
threading,
toning,
scrubing,
moisturhng,
done
&
put on
lipstick,
lipgloss,
lipliner,
perfume,
body toner,
body lotion,
eye liner,
eye shadow,
eye maskara,
foundation,
face powder,
rings,
bracelet,
neckless,
nail paint,
party dress,
Sandle,
Purse and
says: yaar jalde ki bajah se kuch kar nahe payi

Define boy!!

The one who b4 goin to party calls his frnd & ask :
“bhai, tu naha k aayega kya?”
Frnd reply: chal be tere bap ki baraat hai kya..
Boys alwayz rocks… 😀

Break-up ke baad aisa kyu lagta hai,
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Ke saala har sad song apne liye hi likha gaya hai.

(‘.’) Lo ji
<)'(> arz
_/’/_ kiya hai.

Dunia mein bahut
Dard-e-tanhai hai

\(”,)/”wah
\ \ wah
_/ \_ wah
zalimo tum b msg kro meri kya muft ki kamai hai.

Ek bar engineering ke sabhi Professores ko
ek plane mein bithaya gaya..

Fir announce kiya gaya ki
“YE PLANE APKE STUDENTS NE BNAYA HAI”

Sab profesrs utar gaye…
Par principal baithe rahe

Logo ne pucha: Aapko Darr nahi lgta?

Principle: Muje apne studnts par pura bharosa hai.

Ye start hi nahi hoga!!

1 Seminar mein Question pucha gya:
CONDOM ka full form batao?

1 Intellegent ladki ne jawab diya
C.Control
O.On
N.Natural
D.Drops
O.Of
M.Man’s Leakage.

LULLI aur ZUBAN mein samanta
1. Dono mein HADDI nahi hoti.
2. Dono par kabu rakhna mushkil.
3. Dono se LAAR tapkti hai.
4. Dono ko Alag-Alag ITEM chkhne ka shouk hota hai.

Muqadar main raat ki nend nahi to kya hua…
Hum bhi muqadr ko dhoka de kar din ko so jatay hain..

(‘,’)/ Oh my God
<) ( I am SO INTELLIGENT NA
_/ \_

Agar koi achha sa msg ho to use jaldi se
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Paper par likh kar almari me band kar do
Kahin galti se SEND na ho jaye KANJUS.

Apne mobile ko facewash lagakar
garm pani se dhokar use kumkum aur
chawal lagakar mandir mein chadaa do!

Kyun ki SMS to Aap karte nahi, To puja karo!

Bahu: I am going to supermarket.

Aloknath: Take my sanskaar.

Bahu: Ab baas bhi karo.

Aloknath: Arre I mean my son’s car. 😀

Ek sindhi akhrot bech raha tha Marathi ne poocha,
ye khane se kya hota hai ?
Sindhi: dimagh tez hota hai.
Marathi: kaise?
Sindhi: Acchha ye batao 1 kilo chaawal me kitne daane hote hain?
Marathi: pata naheen..
Sindhi ne usko akhrot khilaya aur bola:
Batao 1darzan me kitne kele hote hai ?
Marathi: 12
Sindhi: dekha, dimaag tez hua na..
Marathi: 1 kilo de do..
Jay Julelal 😀

Bura mat suno.

Bura mat dekho.

Bura mat bolo.

I did not know ‘Bura’ was Manmohan singh’s nickname. 😀

When ever boys see a Beautiful Girl with

Cool Figure
Long Hair
Fair Complexion

They remind the Tata Sky slogan

Isko pata dala to life jhingalala.

Har ek boy ki dil ki khwaaish hoti hai……??
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khud kitne bade kaminey honge

par larki shareef chahiye….. 😛 😀

College ke piche nadi mein Principle doob raha tha…
Pappu Ne Dekha aur zooor zooor se chillate hue bhaaga..

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kal chhutti hai..
kal chhutti hai.. 😀

Bataiye… sach baat itni chubhti kyu hai..??

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Kyunki Sach baat mai point hota hai.

kamar jitni bhi patli ho maza utna nasheela hai.
chalega jo bhi ho aankhon ka rang kala ya neela hai,
ishq k naam pe kerte sabhi ab RASLEELA hao..

main karun to saala character dheelaa hai :p

khud par Sabse Jyada proud kab hota hai ?
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Jab usko Exam mein kuch na aata ho,
Aur pichhe se teacher aake kahe,
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Copy chhupa lo Pichhe wala dekh raha hai….
Kasam se seena chaura ho jata hai :’D

Dil to karta hai ki chhod jau ye jalim duniya
Phir khyal ata h ki
mummy ki hone wali “BAHU” ka kya hoga?

(‘_’)/ Na re baba Na
( ( program
! ! cancel 😀

Girls ki problem
Simple ladke pasand nahi,
Modern ladke sincere nahi,
Ranbir kapoor milta nahi,
aur
Main in chakkaro me padta nahi…..

Ladkiya paraya dhan hai, to ladke kya?

Nahi pata kya?
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Ek No. ke CHOR,
jinki nazar hamesha paraye dhan par hi lagi hoti hai. 😀