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SMS Jokes

Dear Computer User,

I Do Appreciate Your Kind Attitude Towards
The Keys 0f Keyboard,
But
0ne question…

Why Do You Press All Keys Softly n Hit Me
With All Your Power?

Yours sincerely,
‘ENTER’ Key!
Google maybe the most powerful search engine
but,
it can’t search
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the chappals u lost at the temple ?
Wife: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command.
Husband: Exactly darling!
its a computer, not a Husband..!
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GODS are also I.T. Engineers

BRAHMA
System installer

VISNU
System supporter

SHIV
System Programmer

NAARAD
Data transfer

YAM
Deleter

MENKA
Virus!
Google turns 12 this year..
This means we only have one more year to use it,
before it turns into a teenager and won’t answer anything!
Young BOYS praying 2 “GOD
plz give me a beautiful Gal frnd
on upcoming *valentines day*

God replied:- Sorry allready 2
million Boys r waiting for
Principal: I am listening that you read a book even midnight, is that true?
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Student: Yes sir!.
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Principal: What’s that book name?
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Student: Its facebook…
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Boy: what’s your age..?
Girl: we don’t reveal our age to boys…!!
Boy: what’s your email address…?
Girl: pooja1988@xyz.com
A boy started using
Facebook since 10th May
2011 but he still have 263
friends..!!
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His little sister started
using FB since 19 feb
2015 and now she have
1,517 friends
..
Thats a
difference between a boy and a
girl..!!
..
agree ???
Lawyer: Rs 5000/- for 3 questions.

Man: Isn’t it too high?

Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?
Teacher: What are the
people of Turkey called?
Student: I don’t know.
Teacher: They r called Turks.
Now What r the people of
Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
It is said that if a girl closes her eyes,
she sees the person she loves the most..
and when boys do that..
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SLIDE-SHOW Begins.
In a personality class, the trainer has been explaining the importance of SWOT analysis.(SWOT analysis means finding one’s strength,weakness,opportunity and threat). then he asked one of the participants;
what is your strength?
participant: my wife is my strength.
what is your weakness?
participant: your wife is my weakness.
then what is your opportunity?
participant: i am looking for an opportunity
what is your threat?
participant: you are my threat.
People Says,”SMOKING KILLS SLOWLY……”
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So What,
Who’z in a Hurry ….!!!! 😉
Your phone has been installed with a new puzzle game.
To play, Trow your phone against the wall…..
Then assemble the pieces…..
Pappu: I love you!
Girl: Phurrrr…
Pappu: I’ll even die for you.
Girl: Phurrrr…
Pappu: I can’t live without you.
Girl: Phurrrr…
Pappu: I even bought a diamond ring for you.
Girl: Really?
Pappu: Phurrrrr…
Man on phone:
Doctor my wife is pregnant. She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Man: No this is her husband speaking !!!
Facebook Fact
Every One Makes An
Account For Friendship
And Then Becomes
…Addicted To Collect
“LIKES and COMMENTS” . . .
A good advice from a good friend!

I read in the newspaper that drinking beer causes liver cancer
so please-stop reading newspapers…cheers…
Height of Surprise:
“A boy after spending great time with GF,
Saw a guy’s photo in her bag
Asked – Is he ur X BF?
GF kissed him said no dear thats me before surgery…
Teacher: Behind every successful man there is a women
what do we learn from this?
Student: we should stop wasting time in studies and find a woman.
Another Moon?…
Possible Another Sun?…
Possible Another Sky?…
Possible Another person Like U?…
Impossible ‘Coz God can’t make
the same Mistake twice.
Boys Always Remain Faitfull To Their Girlfriend..!!
But,
Which Girlfriend??
That’s Still a Topic Of Research..!!
A Boy was driving a car.
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A girl on scooty overtook him.
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Boy shouted,”Hey Buffalo”
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Girl turned back n shouted..”you donkey, idiot, stupid monkey”
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Suddenly she had an accident She was hit by abuffalo crossing d road..
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MORAL:”Girls never understand what a boy wants 2
say”.
Human brain is the most
outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
and stop only when we enter the examination hall.
Life has its Golden moments
& a lovely sister like U
Makes them unforgettable
Happy birthday
Exams are there,
at the paper u stare;
the answer is nowhere,
which makes u pull ur hair.
The teachers make u glare,
the grades r not fair,
but just like the past 20 yrs,
WE DONT CARE!
What is the similarity between Media and Wife?
Till they don’t share the same news at least 100 times,
they really don’t sit quietly!
Husband and wife are like two tyres of a vehicle:
Even one punctures, the vehicle can’t move further…
So, Intelligent people always carry a spare wheel
A Husband makes a call 2 his wife from his idea phone.
He dials wrong number. Another woman picks it.
Both talked for long time and fell in love.
Moral of the story: An idea can change your wife.
Man: doctor, this medicine
is not available at any medical store.
Doctor:oh sorry,
i forgot to write the medicine.
That was my signature.
A Boy was driving a car.


A girl on scooty overtook him.


Boy shouted,”Hey Buffalo”


Girl turned back n shouted..”you donkey, idiot, stupid monkey”


Suddenly she had an accident She was hit by abuffalo crossing d road..


MORAL:”Girls never understand what a boy wants 2 say”.
New way of writting answers in exams.
If you don’t know the answer,
then put lines like this :
||||||||||
and write below :
“Scratch here for ANSWERS”
A small love story..

Boy:excuse me.!

Girl:yes, bro.!
1 boy on his way 2 home with his mom after school,
saw a couple kissing on the road…
He suddenly shouted and said look mom
they are fighting for CHEWING GUM.
Teacher: Behind every successful man there is a women
what do we learn from this?
Student: we should stop wasting time in studies and find a woman.
When a Guy does Something Wrong…
Girl : You broke my Favorite Lamp!
Boy : It was an Accident… I didn’t mean to..!
Girl : I can’t believe you did this.
Boy : I’m Sorry..!

When a Girl does Something Wrong…
Boy : You Lost My Dog?!
Girl : It was an Accident… I didn’t mean to..!
Boy : I can’t believe you did this.
Girl : I already feel bad about it..! Stop making me feel Worse..!
Boy : I’m Sorry..!
Tech Joke:
All Samsung Officials Are Withdrawing Their Children From School,
As The First Thing
Children Are Being Taught Is ___



‘A for Apple’
Tragedies with Boys’ Life:

01. Good girls r Not Good looking

02. Good looking girls r Not good girls

03. Good looking & good girls r not single

04. Good looking, good & single girls have strong Brothers :>

05. Good looking, good, single girls without brothers will treat boys as her brother.
U will be a ROSE for all TREES

U will be a SMILE for all FACES

U will be WATER FALLS for all HILLS

&

U will be a BROTHER for all CUTE GIRLS .
Madam to Student : Last Semester you were roaming
with that girl and this semester you are roaming with other.
What you think of yourself?
Boy : Syllabus changed mam.
Girl- which computer do u have?
Boy- I have a computer with intel core i7
processor at 3.3 ghz, windows 7, 64 bit, 8gb ram
& nvidia gtx 560 graphics card
Boy- which computer do YOU have???
Girl- A PINK ONE !!
Wht to say now…
Hey guys Check this One
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“1”
My SCIENCE book says & i agree..
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“CELL” is the basic fundamental unit of life..
Only Two Types of Communications are Fastest In The World.


E-Mail To Email
&
Female To Female….
A guy says to his friend, ‘Guess how many coins I have in my pocket.’
The friend says, ‘If I guess right, will you give me one of them?’
The first guy says, ‘If you guess right, I’ll give you both of them.’
Heart of boys are like a temple!
Holy, truthful and pure…
Thats why when boys say ‘I Love You’,
girls remove their slippers.
According to a research
87% of young people have
back pain.

The other 13% have no
computer.
Wife : How much do you love me ?
Husband : I love U so much, I can’t measure.
Wife : No just tell me….
Husband : Okay, I am like a cell
phone & you are my sim card,
i am nothing without you…
Wife : Wow ! that’s so romantic…
Husband (saying to himself):
Thank God she doesn’t know, this
is a Chinese phone, with FOUR sim cards…
Wife: If you keep losing your hair at this speed, I shall divorce you.
Husband: Oh my God! And I was stupid enough trying to save them!
The main tension of parents nowadays..!!
What their sons download….
And
What their daughters upload.
A boy found aladin’s lamp,
he asked him to increase
all girls brain ten times more..!!





He laughed & said:


Multiplication does not apply on zero..!!
My girlfriend is like my iPhone.
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I don’t have an iPhone.
2 Man in museum looking at Egyptian Mummy.
Man 1: Look So many bandages Pakka Accident Case.
Man 2: Ya Ya..Lorry number also written.BC.1760..
Wife to Husband: “Darling Shall we have Tandoori Chicken to celebrate our wedding anniversary?”
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Husband: “Why punish the poor chicken for my mistake?”
Height of insult:

Girl to Boy:

I Like your

Smile becoz……



















My favorite colour iz

“YELLOW”
Truth of student life –


First bench student knows how to
answer every problem.


But
the last bench student knows how to
face every problem.
According to my parents,
Every problem has only
one solution,
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“Just throw away the damn phone”
A boy’s eyes is faster than Google
in
searching a beautiful girl in
crowd.
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But.
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A boy’s heart is slower than
internet explorer while proposing girl whom he loves truly.
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Agree. ???
Facebook Love Story:- )

Add As Friend : )
Approve
Writt Something On Wall
Intro
Everyday Chatting
Ask Number Phone
Texting
Calling
Meeting
Express Love
Couple
Make Relationship Status
Hangout
Misunderstanding
Fight
Break Up
Unfriend
Block The End…
Girls are like phones.
we like to be held and talked too-
but if u press the wrong button u’ll be disconnected!
When You Really
Want To Slap Someone,

Do It And Say……
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,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
Mosquito.
You are a DONKEY

D?4 decent
O?4 outclass
N?4 nice
K?4 kind
E?4 excellence
Y?4 young
A girl realizes the pain of Break-up only when
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She has to pay the Pizza bill herself..
1999 Kids : I want my bed near Window
to see the moon and stars.
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2014 Kids : I want my bed near the
mobile charging slot.
Height of flirting of
ENGINEERS
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Teachr: Where is ur Asignmnt
book?
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Stdnt: Mam, I lost it While
fighting with
students who said that you are not the
most
beautiful
teacher in this college.
Call summary:-

Boy to boy!
00:00:59

Boy to mom!
00:00:50

Boy to dad!
00:00:30

Boy to girl!
01:23:59

Girl to girl!
05:29:59

Wife to Husband:
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Not Responding…
FUNNY ULTIMATE TRUTHS :

1. Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.

2. The road to success is always under construction 😉

3. In order to get a loan,
you first need to prove that you don’t need it 😛

4. All the desireable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married 😛

5. Once you have bought something,
you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate 😀

Enjoy life ! 🙂
In fb chatting a gal was not replying me ….
i simply tell her
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” did u know how to type through keyboard ” .
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i got rply in nxt 10 second and after chatting
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blocked.
Most of College students in the world are suffering from AIDS.
Cant beleive,But its true…
AIDS….Attendnce N Internal Marks Deficiency Syndrom.
Women are like Fruits.
Every Woman has her own unique taste and colour.
But The problem is the Men.
They seem to love Fruit salad.
Things in Boys room Before marriage:

Perfumes
Love letters
Laptops
Cards
Nokia Lumia


After marriage:

Pain killers
Loan papers
Unpaid bills
Nokia 1202
You know what COLLEGE means??
C=Come
O=On
L=Lets
L=Love
E=Each
G=Girl
E=Equally
So every BOY goes to COLLEGE.
Arranged marriage is like



accepting an unknown friend
request on facebook!!!!
what will u do ..???
I Hate When Teachers Say
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You Should Know This
You Learned This in 10th standard!
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Damn :
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I Don’t Even Remember
What U taught in Last Lecture!!
Police : Where do you live?
Man : With my parents
Police : Where does your parents live?
Man : With me
Police : Where do you all live?
Man : Together
Police : Where is your house?
Man : Next to my neighbours house
Police : Where is your neighbour’s house?
Man : If I tell you, you won’t believe me
Police : Tell me
Man : Next to my house.
Man: Doctor, this medicine
is not available at any medical store.
Doctor: oh sorry,I forgot to write the medicine.
That was my signature.
What is a girl friend?

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Addition of problems, subtraction of money,

Multiplication of enemies & division of friends…
A software engineer was smoking.
A lady standing nearby said to him can’t you see
the Warning,
Smoking is injurious to health..!
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He replied “We are bothered only about Errors,
not Warnings !!”
Girl: Which computer do u have?
Boy: I have a computer with intel core i7
processor at 3.3 ghz, windows 7, 64 bit, 8gb ram
& nvidia gtx 560 graphics card.

Boy: which computer do YOU have???
Girl: A PINK ONE !!

What to say now. 😛
At Indian railway station
an American doctor got heart attack
after reading a book’s name..

How to become a Doctor in 30 days?
MRP Rs.20!!
Examiner: Why r u under tension?
Did u forget admit card, ID, or calculator?

Student: No Sir!
By mistake i have brought tomorrow
exam’s pharray (cheating material) today. 🙂
If Facebook get Banned,

You will See People Roaming,
in the Streets
with Their Picture in their Hands

Crying & Screaming..

“DO YOU LIKE THIS PICTURE?”
Interviewer: Just imagine, you are in 8th floor,
It caught fire, How will you escape?

Interviewee: Its very simple,
I will stop my imagination..!!
Imagine Life without Girls

-All theater silent

-Police at rest

-Mobile companies in loss

-Gift shop in loss

All boys were university topper. 😀
A man to doctor:
Is there any medicine for long life..?
Doctor: Get married..!!
Man: Will it help ?
Doctor: No, but it will avoid such thoughts!!
Position of a husband is just like a Split AC…
No matter how loud he is outdoor,
He is designed to remain silent indoor! 😛 😀
If U sneeze once, Think I’m remembering you.

If you sneeze twice, Think I want to Meet U.

If U sneeze thrice, Think I’m Missing You.

4th Time, Fool Take A Tablet !
So, sweet ur smile.

so,sweet ur style.

so sweet ur voice.

u c how sweetly i lie.
Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ?
Mind u – its really very very urgent,
damn serious and very imp ….
Im playing cards and weve misplaced the JOKER.
3 monkeys escaped from the zoo …
one was caught watching tv …
another playing football and
the third one was caught reading this txt message
PLEASE DON’T SEND ME CHEAP MESSAGES
COS I AM FROM A RICH FAMILY.
WE ARE IN THE IRON AND STEEL BUSINESS,
MY BROTHER IRONS AND I STEAL
It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper
that we use to write one exam.
Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees.
SAY NO TO EXAMS
What difference Between:

1. “girlfriend.
2. Lover.
3. Wife.
4. Stephaney….

simple.

1.prepaid.
2. postpaid.
3. Lifetime.
4. Coin Box….
When ever u hav any problem:

Juz sing any song
then u’ll realise that
Ur voice iz….
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A lot worst than ur problem. True..
A Couple- Before marriage Mad for each other,

After marriage Made for each other,

In future Mad because of each other…..!!!
In interview:

Manager : Do you know JAVA?

Candidate :

This is called protocal mismatch.

First “JA” – hindi, meaning is “GO”, Second “VA” – Tamil, meaning “COME”.

These two actions are different
can not be implemented simultaneously.

Manager: Good. You know so much in computer. you are appointed..
Best of luck and looking ahead to work with you.
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary,

what should we do?

Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes..!!
How do flies communicate with each other?

eee-mail !!